Duck in a Bar
This duck walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, ?Do you have any grapes"? The bartender says, "No we only sell beer here". The duck leaves. The next day the duck walks back into the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes"? The bartender says, "No I told you we only sell beer, and if you ask me again I'm going to nail your beak to the bar.? So the duck leaves. The next day the duck walks back into the bar, and asks the bartender ?Do you have any nails"? The bartender says "no". The duck asks "Do you have any grapes"?
This duck walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, ?Do you have any grapes"? The bartender says, "No we only sell beer here". The duck leaves. The next day the duck walks back into the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes"? The bartender says, "No I told you we only sell beer, and if you ask me again I'm going to nail your beak to the bar.? So the duck leaves. The next day the duck walks back into the bar, and asks the bartender ?Do you have any nails"? The bartender says "no". The duck asks "Do you have any grapes"?
Timing Is Everything
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, "You should've been here at 8:30!"The guy replies, "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, "You should've been here at 8:30!"The guy replies, "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
What's in a Name?
A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona.""There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."
A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona.""There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."
Live and Learn
Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class. "Let's set some parameters," the professor said. "What's the opposite of joy?" he asked one student. "Sadness," he replied. "The opposite of depression?" he asked another student. "Elation," he replied. "The opposite of woe?" the prof asked a young woman from Texas.The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."
Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class. "Let's set some parameters," the professor said. "What's the opposite of joy?" he asked one student. "Sadness," he replied. "The opposite of depression?" he asked another student. "Elation," he replied. "The opposite of woe?" the prof asked a young woman from Texas.The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."
Climate Change
According to a news story, if global warming continues, in 20 years the only chance we'll have to see a polar bear is in a zoo. So in other words, nothing is going to change. -- Arthur Carlson
According to a news story, if global warming continues, in 20 years the only chance we'll have to see a polar bear is in a zoo. So in other words, nothing is going to change. -- Arthur Carlson
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